We previously introduced Shmuel and Ruchi Feinstein, the young couple who became house-parents in our children’s apartment right after their marriage.

What is life like in the apartment?

Shmuel and Ruchi describe how two children sleep in each room. All the furnishings and linens were waiting for the children in the apartment.

“The day starts early; everyone is up at 6:30. If we are in a special mood, we wake them up to music. The school buses arrive between 7 and 7:15, and they have to dress, eat, and take their medicines, if necessary, before that. When the boys come back in the afternoon, we are waiting for them. We spend the afternoons enjoying ‘family’ life and getting to know each other better. We sit together and offer snacks. They often aren’t so interested in eating, as they eat well in school. At first, we tried to include some clubs in the schedule, but we came to the conclusion that the limited time in the afternoon was better spent sharing quality time together.”

What is the dynamic between the boys like?

“The dynamic is wonderful. They interact like brothers. If one boy talks about his experiences, the next will remember his similar experiences, and that leads to a pleasant conversation between them. Each child has his own drawer with his personal items. When it comes to the items in the apartment, they share nicely.”

In the evening, Shmuel is responsible for showering the boys. Once a week, a substitute counselor comes, allowing the Feinsteins to have some time for themselves. In the rare cases that they need to go out at other times, a substitute comes as well.

“The boys speak to their parents often, even just to chat. They receive all updates, including pictures. The boys call home every day to speak to their parents and siblings, and they remain integral parts of their families. The fact that the boys miss their families is an indication of the strength of that relationship.”

What happens on Shabbat?

Under ordinary circumstances, the boys go home every other week for Shabbat. If anyone doesn’t go home, he goes with Shmuel and Ruchi to eat by their parents. When the boys are in the apartment for Shabbat, there is a schedule of davening and meals, including time to look over the school newsletters. Each boy gets to choose a song to sing, and the Feinsteins make sure to serve the special dishes that the boys prefer.

“Shabbat is a wonderful time, full of small challenges like testing boundaries, finding activities to keep busy, and giving each child the opportunity to express himself.”

Have you encountered any difficulties?

“We both have experience in special education, which makes the difficulty less pronounced, although it is still there. We sometimes ask advice from the social worker or behavioral counselor. We have a close and direct connection with the staff.”

“I sometimes have moments when I’m overwhelmed,” admits Ruchi. “Shmuel has those less often, but the coronavirus situation has gotten to him too!”

It’s specifically the little things that challenge Ruchi, like laundry and cleaning the large apartment – challenges encountered in every home, not only this special type of home. “It’s a responsibility that I received all at once. But it comes with enjoyment, satisfaction, and great love.”

Would you recommend this to other couples?

Ruchi and Shmuel agree that this job is not appropriate for everyone, but they feel strongly that there are certain benefits. “We grew up by twenty years! We are encountering real life experiences, like taking a child to the hospital and dealing with behavior problems. These are benefits for any couple.”

Can you share a special moment?

“A parent called one Motza’ei Shabbat to ask us when we would be home, because his child was crying that he wanted to go back to Shmuel and Ruchi…”