Today, over a half a year later, Shmuel and Ruchi are the “parents” of four children living in a large private house, and together they create a home for children with disabilities who cannot live with their own families for various reasons.

What leads a young couple, only four months after their wedding, to think that this idea is appropriate for them?

“Everything about it seemed right,” says Ruchi. “Shmuel worked as a counselor in Seeach Sod’s Day-Hab program in Jerusalem. I work as a teacher in a special education school, and in the past I served as the supervisor of one of Seeach Sod’s Supported Housing apartments. We thus both have experience working with individuals with disabilities, as well as with Seeach Sod. Beit Shemesh seemed like a good option for us, as Shmuel’s family lives there. Most of all, it offered the possibility of work with true meaning.”

The Seeach Sod staff looked over the couple’s resumes and invited them for an interview. They were pleased to see that there was no need to introduce Seeach Sod to the Feinsteins. The decision was made – Shmuel and Ruchi would oversee the new apartment for young children.

How do people respond?

“Our families were very supportive of the idea,” the Feinsteins relate. “They were our partners throughout the process, and they are also a part of the apartment experience. Our parents are like the children’s ‘grandparents’ – and they come with presents! Shmuel’s family, who live nearby, has hosted us, and we have hosted them. (Unfortunately, this is no longer possible due to the coronavirus restrictions.) Of course, there are always people who say things like, ‘What kind of crazy idea is this?! A young couple doing this kind of work?!’ But neither of us pay much attention to those voices…”

Did you have any hesitations?

“Everything was explained and discussed in advance, including arrangement for a substitute, who comes once a week so that we can have a day off and who also can fill in if necessary. We had one non-negotiable rule: Since we are in our first year of marriage, it was very important to us that we spend the Pesach seder with our family and not in the residence. This was so central to us that we decided that if this condition was not accepted, we would not accept the position! Of course, the condition was accepted – but ironically, we celebrated the seder in lockdown, along with all of Am Yisrael, so we had the seder the children, who were not sent home. We also stayed for Chol HaMo’ed, Shabbat, and the last day of Pesach…We learned how life is impossible to predict!”

The residents of the residence are children with intellectual developmental disabilities or autism who cannot live with their families. Unlike the other fifty residences in Seeach Sod’s Supported Housing program, this residence is supervised by a couple, which provides the children with the stability and warmth that they need.

One of the first children to join the residence previously stayed in Seeach Sod’s Respite Center, and the Feinstein met him there to get acquainted. One other child arrived with the opening of the residence, and two others joined at six week intervals, so as to make acclimation easier. As of this writing, the Feinsteins are preparing for the arrival of two more children.

When they moved to their new home, Seeach Sod provided them with a budget to buy furniture and other necessities for the residence. “We moved from an apartment of 40 square meters to a house of almost 400 square meters! We had two weeks to settle in before the children began to arrive. When the first child came, we showed him the house and his corner. We explained that this is his new home, this is his bed, these are his clothes. We tried to convey a sense of stability from the beginning.”

Do you serve as the children’s parents?

“The children have warm and wonderful families that are simply not able to care for them. We are not their mother and father in any sense. We are Abba Shmuel and Ima Ruchi, as they call us. The children have good relationships with their families. They talk to them on the phone every day, and every other Shabbat they visit their families, while we visit our own. It has happened that one of the children remained for Shabbat, so he joined us!”

A Moment of Nachas

“This week, the teacher of one of the children called and reported that he had seen an unbelievable change in the child. When this child first arrived, he would open up cupboards and throw packages of sugar and coffee onto the floor. Today, he would clean up the sugar that someone else spilled!” It is clear that Shmuel is very proud of this child. “From a child that couldn’t be left alone for a second, he has undergone a remarkable behavioral change. Today I can count on him with my eyes closed!”